How Should I Help Someone Who Is Suicidal?

Have you tried paying attention to their language and behavior?

Have you tried asking your friend directly about how they feel?

Have you tried encouraging them to talk about their feelings?

Do you make yourself available to them and continue to offer support?

Have you tried encouraging them to get professional support such as a therapist?

People often talk about suicide in vague or unclear ways. our friend could say things that reflect a sense of shame, hopelessness, or failure. They may not say, “I want to die,” or “I want to kill myself.” Instead, they might say something like "I'll never feel better" or they behave like they are a burden to everyone. Their mood can also show some signs such as they avoid spending time with people, go through multiple mood changes or have an irregular sleep pattern. These signs don’t always mean your friend is thinking about suicide, but it never hurts to have a conversation when their actions or language concern you.

You can get a better idea of your friend’s immediate risk by asking a few important questions. Not everyone who thinks about dying has a plan or the means and intent to carry out their plan. Someone who has a clear time frame for dying, however, needs immediate support.

When someone you love mentions suicide, you might believe avoiding the subject entirely and encouraging them to think about brighter things will help them feel better. Your friend might take your avoidance as a sign you aren’t comfortable talking about suicide. They might also get the message you don’t appreciate the depth of their pain, even when that’s not the case. In either case, they might stop confiding in you.

If your friend has thoughts of suicide but no plan or immediate risk, they may feel a little better after sharing their distress. This doesn’t mean they’re completely fine. They may continue to deal with suicidal thoughts until they get help addressing the underlying concern. Staying in touch with your friend can remind them you still care, even after the crisis has passed.

You can also support them by encouraging them to talk to a therapist about lingering or recurring suicidal thoughts. Just remember you can’t force them to go to therapy, no matter how deeply you believe it would help. It can feel pretty upsetting to watch someone struggle alone, but telling them what to do may not work.

It’s a common myth that people talk about suicide to get attention. This is not the case for most people, so it’s always best and safest to assume your friend means what they say. Even if it can feel awkward or scary at first, it’s important to reach out in these moments and keep them safe.