Is My Child’s Anger Normal?

Is your child’s behavior causing him or her serious trouble at school?

Are your child’s tantrums and defiance causing a lot of problems at home and disrupting family life?

Are your child’s tantrums and outbursts occurring past the age in which they’re developmentally expected (up to about 7 or 8 years old)?

Is your child’s behavior interfering with his or her ability to get along with other kids?

Is your child upset because they feel they can’t control their anger, which makes them feel bad about themselves?

Is the behavior dangerous to him-or herself or others?

While it is unlikely that your child has serious anger problems, he or she may be displaying one or two signs related to it. It’s common that children have occasional tantrums or meltdowns. They may lash out if asked to do something they don’t feel like doing. However, when kids show this type of behavior repeatedly, or most of the time can’t control their tempers, your child’s anger may not be normal. In that case, it may be important to reach out to a mental health professional and understand if your child would benefit from therapy. In case you answered ‘no’ to all questions, there seem to be no reasons to worry about your child’s anger.

Based on your answers, your child is displaying signs that his or her anger goes beyond normal. Most children have occasional tantrums. However, when children continue to have regular emotional outbursts, it’s usually related to distress. You should first understand what is triggering your child’s behavior. There are many underlying causes that could be explaining your child’s behavior, such as learning problems, trauma, neglect, autism, anxiety, ADHD, and others. It may be important to reach out to a mental health professional and understand if your child would benefit from therapy.

Unfortunately, your child is displaying the symptoms typically seen among kids whose anger is not considered normal. To address the situation, behavioral approaches that require parents and children to work together are key. First, it’s essential to understand what triggers set off your child’s anger. Besides, when a child’s emotional outbursts occur, the parent’s response affects the chance of the behavior happening again in the future. If the child’s behavior is causing major problems, parent training programs may be very useful. Also, exploring techniques that help your child to calm down can be helpful, such as slow breathing and yoga.