Is My Ex-Partner Alienating Me As A Parent?

Does your ex-partner plan tempting activities for your child during your custody?

Does your ex-partner divulge unnecessary relational details to your child?

Does your ex-partner frequently break or bend custody guidelines?

Does your ex-partner gossip and ask your child about your parent’s personal life and more?

Does your ex-partner prevent your child from seeing or talking to you by saying, for example that you are too busy or uninterested in the child?

Does your ex-partner keep things under wraps, by for example keeping medical records or information about the child’s friends for him- or herself, so it becomes more interesting to talk to him or her instead of you?

Does your ex-partner insist your child’s personal items all be kept at his or her house?

Does your ex-partner actively compare you to a new partner?

Does your ex-partner become controlling (e.g., monitoring phone calls or other interactions) when it comes to the child’s relationship with you?

Based on your answers, your ex-partner may be doing one or two things that point to parental alienation. Parental alienation occurs when one parent uses strategies to distance a child from the other parent. Obviously, the parent-child relationship suffers, whether the allegations are false or not. If the child is repeatedly told that mom is a bad person and is not interested in spending time with them (even if it is not true), the child may refuse to talk to mom. Finding a family therapist and child psychologist may be important. In case you answered ‘no’ to all questions, there seem to be no reasons to worry.

Based on your answers, there are several signs that parental alienation is occurring. If you are going through a messy separation, we feel for you. This is never an easy situation. And if you and your ex-partner have children together, the situation is even harder. Parental alienation occurs when one of the two is turning the children against the other. For example, maybe mom tells the child that dad does not want to see them (even if it’s untrue). Accusations can be mild or very severe. The relationship between the child and the alienated parent will suffer, whether the accusations are true or not. Finding a family therapist and child psychologist may be necessary.

Unfortunately, based on your answers, there are various signs of parental alienation. Parental alienation happens when one parent discredits the other parent to the child(ren) the two of them share. For example, mom tells the children that dad prefers his new family to them. Whether the allegations are true or not; the parent-child relationship will suffer, and the child will start behaving differently towards the alienated parent. It may be useful to ask your child’s pediatrician which child mental health specialists they recommend. You can also look for a reputable family counselling center and child psychologist. Treatment will be adapted to the family’s specific situation.