Is My Partner Emotionally Unavailable?

Do you do all the relationship work?

Do you never seem to grow closer?

Does your partner avoid the word ‘relationship’?

Does your partner not like making plans?

Does your partner have a hard time keeping commitments or are they consistently showing up late?

Does your partner tend to choose what you do together?

Does your partner typically reflect your feelings instead of talking about their own?

Based on your answers, it’s unlikely that your partner is emotionally unavailable, however they may be displaying one or two signs related to it. Emotional availability is about the ability to sustain emotional bonds in relationships. It’s almost impossible to have a healthy relationship without an emotional connection. Therefore, it’s not uncommon that emotionally unavailable people tend to struggle in relationships. If you think your partner is emotionally unavailable, you may tell him or her how certain behaviors affect you and the relationship. In case you answered ‘no’ to all questions, there seem to be no reasons to be worried.

Based on your answers, your partner is displaying several signs related to being emotionally unavailable. Emotional availability is about the ability to sustain emotional bonds in relationships. There are a number of factors that can contribute to emotional unavailability, such as attachment issues and breakup grief, but emotional unavailability can also happen temporarily. If you may think it’s easy and fun to date people who don’t ask a lot of you emotionally, you may get it wrong. Usually, these flings won’t fulfil you for long. You may want to talk to your partner about his or her behavior and encourage him or her to talk to a therapist as well.

Unfortunately, your partner is displaying the signs typically seen among individuals who are emotionally unavailable. Emotional availability is about the ability to sustain emotional bonds in relationships. It’s a complex issue, and it does not have to be a permanent thing. This depends on the underlying causes; some may be harder to overcome than others. What you can do is bring up concerning behaviors in a compassionate way, telling your partner how they affect you and the relationship. You can encourage your partner to talk to a therapist and offer support when they do open up. Remember that change only happens when your partner is really willing to work for it.