Has My Child Developed An Ambivalent Attachment Style?

Is your child wary of strangers?

Does your child become greatly distressed when you leave?

Does your child show not being comforted when you return?

Is your child attention needing?

Does your child display high levels of anxiety?

Based on your answers, it’s unlikely that your child has developed an ambivalent attachment style. Attachment styles are different ways of interacting in relationships. During early childhood, these styles are centered on the interaction between parents and children. Children with an ambivalent attachment style are often described by teachers as clingy and over-dependent. Also as adults, it’s not uncommon that they will notice the consequences of this attachment style. Most of the time, they are afraid of becoming close to others and worry that their partner does not reciprocate their feelings. In your case, there seem to be no reason to worry!

Based on your answers, your child may be displaying some signs of an ambivalent attachment style. Children with this attachment style are extremely suspicious of strangers. They become very distressed when their partner leaves, however they don’t feel reassured by the return of the parent. Sometimes, the child may even refuse comfort or openly display aggression toward the parent. If you feel you can’t foster a healthy, secure attachment style in your child, it may be important to reach out to your doctor or therapist for help.

Unfortunately, your child is displaying the signs typically seen among individuals who have developed an ambivalent attachment style. This is not very good news. Children with an ambivalent attachment style can develop problems in adult life when it comes to forming relationships. For example, they may have difficulties becoming close to others and their relationships feel distant. If you think you need help with educating your child or if you feel like you are not able to foster a healthy, secure attachment style in your child, it’s very important to seek professional help.