How Should I Deal With A Rejection?

Did you take some time to process your feelings instead of being unnecessarily optimistic?

Did you spend some time to focus on what you still have in your life instead of what you lost or never had?

Did you say no to your inner critic and stop negative thoughts about yourself?

Do you have someone who you share your feelings with, be it a friend or family?

Do you think only about your shortcomings afterwards?

Did you think constructively and focusing on what you can learn from the experience?

Did you strengthen your self-esteem after the rejection?

Trying to force optimism or to move forward when you are still in an emotional turmoil or a bit shocked usually don't work that well. So first just take a bit of time to process the thoughts and feelings that arise when you've been rejected. Just be with those feelings and thoughts instead of trying to push them away.

Take some time for the thoughts that arose. But don't get stuck in dwelling and in dragging yourself down into an ocean of self-doubt and negativity. Instead, shift your focus to what you actually still have in your life. The people, the passions or hobbies, the sometimes taken for granted things like a roof over your head and that you don't have to go hungry.

When you’ve faced rejection then it’s easy to start pummeling yourself and to drag yourself further down by listening to your inner critic. The inner critic is the voice that whispers or drones on in your mind about how you’re not attractive enough, not smart or witty enough or perhaps that you’re unsuccessful in life. And that’s why you got rejected. When you notice this voice starting to pipe up in your mind shut it down before it become a big snowball of negative thoughts that you’ll have a hard time stopping.

Bottling the rejection and this situation up can make it feel and seem a lot worse than it needs to be. Letting it all out and talking it over with a friend, partner or family member can help you to release your pent up emotions and to start seeing the situation with clear and sober eyes.Just venting can allow you to start figuring out what happened and what you can do to move on from this.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking there is something wrong with you if you for example don't get a second date. But not everything is about you. The other person may have his or her own self-doubts. Or things from the past he or she has not moved on from yet. Or that person may simply be looking for something or someone else than you. That's just how life is.

Not everything is about you if you get rejected. And getting rejected is just a part of a life well lived, of a life where you go outside of your comfort zone. But at the same time be honest with yourself to increase the chances of success and reduce the risk of rejection in the future. Maybe there’s something you can improve about your interview skills when you’re at a job interview? Or about your conversation skills or ability to keep it relaxed and positive when you’re on a date?

A self-esteem toolbox filled with helpful thought habits and strategies won’t make you invincible to rejection or any other negative situation. But it makes you stronger. It makes you less vulnerable to what others may think or say about you. It makes more things bounce off you. Instead of them dragging you deeper and deeper down.

The best way to move on from a rejection is to keep going. Process what’s happened, learn what you can but don’t let the rejection stop you for too long. Don’t let it get you stuck for weeks or months.