Has My Child Developed An Avoidant Attachment Style?

Does your child act like they don’t have emotional needs?

Does your child have difficulty crying?

Is your child independent?

Does your child keep his or her feelings close to their chest?

Does your child show difficulties in making physical contact (with the parents or caregivers)?

Does your child avoid you?

Does your child avoid seeking comfort from you?

Does your child show little or no preference for their parents over strangers?

While it is unlikely that your child has developed an avoidant attachment style, he or she may be displaying a few signs related to it. As parents, the one thing we want the most from our kids is to be loved, and to love them back the best we can. Parents need to make sure that their children understand that they love them no matter what and that they are the persons they can rely on in times of hardship. When a child has developed an avoidant attachment style, parents or caregivers are most of the time emotionally unavailable or responsive. Make sure to foster a secure attachment with your child

Based on your answers, your child is displaying some signs of an avoidant attachment style. Children with this type of attachment stop seeking closeness or expressing emotion when they feel their needs for connection and physical closeness are ignored. Ideally, your child should have the secure attachment style, in which the child feels comfortable with expressing their basic feelings, whether distress or happiness. It’s important to ensure you are meeting your child’s basic needs, such as shelter, good, love, warmth and closeness. If you have difficulties with this, it may be important to reach out to a therapist.

Unfortunately, your child is displaying the signs typically seen among children who have developed an avoidant attachment style. Children with an avoidant attachment style are likely to avoid parents and caregivers, especially when the parents or caregivers have been absent for a while. These children also don’t show any preference for their parent compared to a complete stranger. Parents who adopt an avoidant attachment style with their children openly discourage outward displays of emotion. You need to be mindful of what messages you are sending your children about showing their emotions. If you are concerned about your attachment with your child, you may seek professional help.