Have I Developed A Disorganized Attachment Style?

Do you have a fear of caregivers or partners?

Do you have an extreme need for closeness, but at the same time you have the tendency to avoid closeness and push others away?

Have you experienced chaotic, unpredictable, or intense relationship patterns and behaviors?

Do you have a negative self-image and low self-worth?

Are you extremely afraid of being rejected and do you have a difficulty connecting to and trusting others?

Do you display aggressive behavior toward caregivers or partners?

Do you suffer from depression and/or anxiety?

Do you feel unlovable, inadequate, or unworthy?

Do you experience deep-rooted shame?

While it is unlikely that you have developed a disorganized attachment style, you may be displaying a few signs related to it. People with this type of attachment style have a strong wish for intimate connections, but they also put up walls to protect themselves from getting hurt. Disorganized attachment is thought to be caused by abuse and trauma in childhood (e.g., emotional, sexual, physical abuse from a caregiver) or of witnessing the caregiver hurting others.

Based on your answers, you are displaying some signs of a disorganized attachment style. Adults with this type of attachment usually have poor coping skills, difficulties dealing with relationships and real-life problems, and a lack of coping strategies. They can display unpredictable and volatile behavior in relationships. They don’t easily trust others. It may be very important to seek out professional help. Therapy can help you to identify the thoughts and behaviors that lead to an unhealthy attachment style. You will learn to develop effective communication skills and set boundaries that will make you feel secure and safe in relationships.

Unfortunately, you are displaying the symptoms typically seen among individuals who have developed a disorganized attachment style. You may crave connection and seek out relationships. However, once you are in a relationship, you tend to push away the other person out of fear of getting hurt. It may be very important to seek out professional help. Therapy can help you to identify the thoughts and behaviors that lead to an unhealthy attachment style. You will learn to develop effective communication skills and set boundaries that will make you feel secure and safe in relationships.