Has My Child Developed A Disorganized Attachment Style?

Does your child show oppositional, disrupted, aggressive, and erratic behavior?

Is your child easily distressed?

Does your child have low self-esteem and poor social skills?

Do you notice that your child does not have an attentional and behavioral strategy for coping with stress?

Does your child lack regulation skills and control of negative emotions?

Based on your answers, it’s unlikely that your child has developed a disorganized attachment style. Babies seek proximity and connection to their parents or caregivers for survival. This behavior allows a baby to develop an attachment to their caregivers. A disorganized attachment style is formed when a child is emotionally and physically dependent on a person (the caregiver) who is also a source of distress. The attachment style is often found in children who have experienced some type of abuse (sexual, physical, or emotional) from their caretakers in childhood. In your child’s case, there seem to be no reason to be worried. In case of doubt, it’s always better to reach out to your doctor or a therapist.

Based on your answers, your child is displaying some signs of a disorganized attachment style. Attachment Theory asserts that when a child is scared, they turn to their caretaker or parent for security and reassurance. However, in the case of disorganized attachment, the caretaker is also a source of threat. Therefore, there are no consistent, organized strategies that can relieve the fears of the child. When a child has disorganized attachment, the child does not consider the parent as a secure base, because they can’t get their emotional or physical needs met. If you, as a parent, feel as if you can’t get your child securely attached, it may be very important to seek professional help.

Unfortunately, your child is displaying the signs typically seen among individuals who have developed a disorganized attachment style. Babies seek proximity and connection to their parents or caregivers for survival. This behavior allows a baby to develop an attachment to their caregivers. When a child has disorganized attachment, the child does not consider the parent as a secure base, because they can’t get their emotional or physical needs met. You, as a parent, should seek to reestablish a safe and secure attachment style to your child. If you feel you aren’t capable of doing that, you should seek help from a therapist to avoid future issues for your child.