Do I Foster A Disorganized Attachment In My Child?

Do you sometimes respond to your child’s cries, and at other times ignore them for long periods?

Do you laugh at your child’s fears or tears?

Do you mock your child in distress?

Do you yell at your child to stop crying?

Do you briefly soothe your child before losing patience and yelling or intimidating your child?

Based on your answers, it’s unlikely that you share a disorganized attachment style with your child. How caretakers respond to a baby’s needs will inform whether they develop a healthy organized attachment or an unhealthy, disorganized attachment. Parents who foster a disorganized attachment in their child usually respond to their distress without calm and soothing temperament. Besides, they may send mixed signals: sometimes soothing, sometimes angry. They don’t attend to their child needs. If you have any doubts about the attachment style you share with your child, it may be useful to reach out to your doctor or a therapist.

Based on your answers, you are displaying some signs related to sharing a disorganized attachment style with your child. How caretakers respond to a baby’s needs will inform whether they develop a healthy organized attachment or an unhealthy, disorganized attachment. It’s normal to become overwhelmed by parenting sometimes, or to respond to your child in ways you may later regret. But as long as you are trying to be empathetic, kind, and respond appropriately to your child’s distress, it will be very likely that you are raising a child with a secure and organized attachment. If you are worried about a disorganized attachment between you and your child, it’s important to seek professional help.

Unfortunately, you are displaying the signs typically seen among individuals who have a disorganized attachment with their child.