Do I Foster an Anxious Attachment Style In My Child?

Are you sometimes supportive and responsive to your child’s needs, and at other times misattuned to the child?

Do you ridicule your child or become annoyed when they are in distress?

Do you seek emotional/physical closeness with your child in order to satisfy your own needs, rather than your child’s needs?

Are you slow or inconsistent in responding to signs of distress in your baby?

Do you neglect or mistreat your child?

Does your child have a troubled childhood, including physical or sexual abuse?

Based on your answers, it’s unlikely that you foster an anxious attachment style in your child. If your child is brought up in a warm and nurturing environment, where you as the parents or caregivers are responsive to the child’s needs, a secure attachment is formed. However, when the child’s needs are not met, the child will not be able to build a secure bond and this will lead to a distorted perception of how relationships are supposed to function. An anxious attachment style most often develops due to misattuned, inconsistent parenting. If you are not sure if you can foster a secure attachment in your child, you may want to reach out to your doctor or therapist.

Based on your answers, you are displaying some signs of sharing an anxious attachment style with your child. This is often associated with an inconsistent parenting pattern. This means that at times, the parents are supportive and responsive to the child’s needs, while at other times, they are misattuned to the child. Also, caregivers may seek closeness with their child to satisfy their own needs, rather than their child’s needs. This attachment style can lead to several problems later in life and can negatively impact your child’s future relationships. If you are not sure if you can foster a secure attachment in your child, you may want to reach out to your doctor or therapist.

Unfortunately, you are displaying the signs typically seen among individuals who share an anxious attachment style with their child. You may show inconsistent parenting behaviors, in which you are nurturing and attuned at times, but emotionally unavailable at other times. You may also be slow or inconsistent in responding to signs of distress in your baby. This attachment style can lead to several problems later in life and can negatively impact your child’s future relationships. If you are not sure if you can foster a secure attachment in your child, you may want to reach out to your doctor or therapist.