Why I Don’t Have Friends?

Are you shy, or do you feel uncomfortable around others?

Are you introverted?

Do you have a hard time establishing intimate relationships with others?

Do you feel like you can't measure up to the people you want as friends?

Do you live in an area where it is difficult to connect with others?

Do you have a mental or physical disability?

Do you feel you lack the skills or experience needed to make and maintain friendships?

Do you initiate contact, and also respond to your friends' overtures?

Is there something about you that others find grating?

Do you have an unrealistic, romanticized notion of friendship?

Do you have a hard time juggling all the responsibilities and demands placed on you?

Based on your answers, it may be unlikely that you don’t have friends. However, if you really feel like you have no friends, you may first ask yourself the question: Is it real? Do I truly have no friends, or does it just seem that way now? If you have recently gone through an emotional situation, if you know there are people who care about you , or if people are reaching out to you but you are ignoring, your situation might not be as bad as it feels. Remember that emotions are important, but they are not all true! If you think you may still need a little professional help, you can always visit your doctor.

Based on your answers, there are some things about you that may be reasons to not have (many) friends. For some of us, realizing that we have no friends doesn’t just come after a single event. It comes after a long time of feeling lonely and neglected. It’s important to ask yourself now: what do I want to do about it? Do you want to pity yourself, or try to change your behaviors to make new friends? Or maybe you want to accept yourself for who you are and embrace the life you’ve made. You are the one to determine your own happiness, and the answer is not always other people. Instead, the answer is finding your own peace.

Based on your answers, you are displaying several signs typically seen among individuals who have few or no friends. If you feel like you really miss some significant friendships and it makes you feel bad, it may be useful to reach out to a mental health practitioner. Whatever the reason might be for not having friends, remember that it is not as big a problem as others might make you think. Some people prefer a lack of friends, they enjoy the independence, and knowing that their life is theirs and theirs alone to determine. This works differently for each one of us, so it’s important to ask yourself: how does it make me feel and what do I want to do about it?