Am I A People Pleaser?

Do you apologize often?

Do you have difficulties saying ‘no’?

Do you feel responsible for how other people feel?

Do you feel bad and uncomfortable if someone is angry at you?

Do you need praise to feel good?

Do you feel burdened by the things you have to do?

Do you have a hard time admitting when your feelings are hurt?

Are you likely to act like the people around you?

Do you go to great lengths to avoid conflict?

Do you pretend to agree with everyone?

Based on your answers, you are displaying one or two signs of being a people pleaser. For most people, the wish to please stems from problems with their self-worth. They think that when they say ‘yes’ to everything asked of them will make people like them more. In other cases, people-pleasers have been maltreated in the best and therefore they think that by trying to please the people who mistreated them, they may receive better treatment. At a certain point, people-pleasing became a way of living. In case you answered ‘no’ to all questions, you are very unlikely to be a people pleaser.

Based on your answers, you are displaying some signs of being a people-pleaser. It often happens that people-pleasers don’t know the difference between pleasing people and kindness. When someone asks them to do a favor, they will say things like ‘I don’t want to be selfish’ so they don’t say no. This way, they let others take advantage of them. People-pleasing can be a serious issue and also a hard habit to change. The urge to please others can be damaging to ourselves and our relationships when we give more importance to other people’s wants than our own needs.

Unfortunately, you are displaying the signs typically seen among individuals who are people-pleasers. It’s good if you want to impress your boss with your work, but being subservient can have bad consequences for yourself. Remember that you will never be able to reach your full potential if you are trying to please people all the time. To change the habit, start by saying no to something small or take a stand for something you believe in. Every little step will boost your confidence in your ability to be yourself. If you find it very hard to do this on your own, you can always seek help from a mental health professional. A therapist will help you to build your mental strength to improve your quality of life.