Why Do I Hate Myself?

Do you use all or nothing statements? For example, “If I fail this test, I’ll be a total loser.”

Do you only focus on the negative, whether you are having a good or bad day?

Do you have low self-esteem? You don’t feel like you’re good enough to apply for new jobs, or to put yourself out there for new opportunities.

Do you believe that a feeling is a fact? For example, instead of “I feel like a failure,” you think, “I am a failure.”

Based on your answers, you are unlikely to hate yourself. This is, of course, good news. It’s not uncommon for people to compare themselves to others. We all do it once in while. But if you are constantly evaluating how you measure up, it may have a big, negative impact on your mental health. Before you know it, just looking at yourself in the mirror may stimulate thoughts of self-hatred. These feelings can be even more distressing if you already have a mental health condition, such as depression.

Based on your answers, you are displaying some signs related to self-hate. The first step is to understand its root, try to identify where it came from. Then, you should challenge your negative thoughts. It will reinforce the idea that self-hatred is an emotion, not a fact. If you have a period where you’re feeling positive, try to write out a list of what you love about yourself. When self-hatred thoughts come, take a breath and say out loud one or more of the items from your list. Spend time with people who make you happy, and practice self-compassion: accepting failures and mistakes, and understand them as normal, messy human moments.

Unfortunately, you are displaying symptoms typically seen among individuals who experience self-hate. Remember that you are never alone in your mental health journey. It’s normal if you need a little help to get through. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. A mental health professional will teach you how to manage your self-hatred and negative self-talk. If you learn to change ‘I hate myself’ to ‘I will do better tomorrow’, it will help you to prepare for anything else that you find on your path.