Does My Partner Resent Me?

Have your partner been getting unusually quiet (uncomfortably quiet)?

Do you notice more passive-aggressive behavior?

Does your sex life seem awkward?

When you try to talk to him or her, does he or she flip out at you?

Does your partner occasionally make "casual" jokes about leaving you?

Can you admit or confirm that you have been a bad partner to him/her?

Have great things been happening to you, but not to your partner?

Does your partner do things he/she knows you hate?

Does your partner lack empathy?

Based on your answers, it is unlikely that your partner resents you. If you have been in one or more long-term relationships, you know that when the honeymoon phase is over, discussions and disagreements will eventually occur. But when disagreements and discussions outweigh the positive aspects of your relationship, there may be a bigger problem present: resentment. Resentment is that feeling of imbalance and disgruntlement at past behavior. It can be the underlying cause of relationship problems. Luckily, you have no reasons for concern, but remember that you can always ask help from a counselor if you feel that’s necessary.

Based on your answers, your partner is displaying some signs of resentment. When you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, there can be many reasons. There is one cause that is often overlooked: resentment. Resentment is that feeling of imbalance and disgruntlement at past behavior. Resentment can have damaging effects on your relationship. Therefore, it’s important to recognize the signs. There are many sources of resentment, including sex, finances, chores, and problems with family and friends. It’s up to both of you to identify the source and work on it together Open and honest communication is essential. If your partner is not willing to cooperate, counselling can be very helpful.

Unfortunately, your partner is displaying the signs typically seen among individuals who resent their partner. It is very important to discuss this openly with your partner (also if you are the resentful one!). Empathy and validation are essential, to facilitate reconciliation. Resentment can get worse over time, and if you can’t work it out together seek professional help. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you can avoid further damage and start to understand what can be improved so you can both move on and enjoy a better relationship.