Does My Friend Envy Me?

Does your friend greet your good news with negativity?

Does your friend make you feel bad about yourself?

Does your friend frequently try to outdo or one-up you?

Can you confirm that your friend does not offer support?

Does your friend struggle with insecurity and self-esteem?

Based on your answers, you probably don’t have a friend that envies you. That, of course, is great news. There is really nothing wrong with wanting nice things, like a great car or a good relationship. It’s pretty normal for people to feel some level of envy when someone close to them succeeds. But after a while, the feelings pass, because they are outweighed by their support for their friend or other loved one. If these feelings of envy don’t disappear, it will be noticed in the person’s behavior. Talking about it is the best solution to save the friendship.

Based on your answers, you may have a friend that show some signs of envy. If you notice sharing good news with your friend sparks a negative reaction, you may choose the next time to keep the news to yourself. It may also happen that you put yourself down around them. It’s normal if you want to protect your friendship, but not sharing your accomplishments does not help. If you talk down an achievement, your friend may think that you are not appreciating your luck. Envy and jealousy are normal emotions. Your friend may even know that their behavior is not right, but they may have difficulties managing their feelings. Therefore, the best thing is to talk about the issue.

Unfortunately, it seems like you have a friend that envies you. The best thing you can do right now is to talk about it with this person, and don’t pretend that it doesn’t exist. Remember that it’s important to not start accusing your friend of being jealous or envious. Just say that you are concerned about your friend’s behavior, or the negative comments that you have been receiving. Also make sure to focus conversations on things your friend values. Congratulate their achievements and do it in a sincere way. If you tried to talk to your friend and their behavior doesn’t change, maybe you should consider taking some time apart, or even ending the friendship.