Why Do I Always Put Other People’s Needs Before My Own?

Do you choose people and situations that lead to disappointment or mistreatment even when better options are available?

Do you reject the attempts of others to help you?

Following positive personal events, do you respond with depression, guilt, or a behavior that produces pain (e.g., an accident)?

Do you incite angry or rejecting responses from others and then feel hurt or humiliated?

Do you reject opportunities for pleasure or are you reluctant to acknowledge enjoying yourself?

Do you fail to accomplish tasks crucial to your personal objectives despite having an ability to do so?

Are you uninterested in or do you reject people who consistently treat you well?

Do you excessively sacrifice yourself that is unsolicited by the intended recipients of the sacrifice?

Based on your answers, it is unlikely that you have a serious problem with putting other people’s needs and desires before your own. People who are showing several signs of self-defeating behavior, may be dealing with a self-defeating personality disorder. What makes these people happy and satisfied is giving themselves completely to others. They can go far and even give up on what they want, just to please another person. Self-defeating personality disorder is not an official diagnosis and therefore the amount of research on this condition is scarce.

Based on your answers, you may be displaying some signs of a self-defeating personality disorder. Someone with a self-defeating personality disorder feels the need to be submissive to others, and they go far to please another person. Interventions are often difficult, because patients may resist treatment. The essential feature of self-defeating personality disorder is a pathological pattern of self-defeating behavior. It may be useful to discuss your symptoms with a doctor to understand what you can do to improve your quality of life. Self-defeating personality disorder, however, is not an official diagnosis and therefore the amount of research on this condition is scarce.

Based on your answers, you are displaying several symptoms typically seen among individuals who have a self-defeating personality disorder. It may be important to seek medical support for your symptoms, even if you don’t want to. A self-defeating personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of self-defeating behavior. People with this disorder may avoid pleasurable experiences and may have relationships in which they suffer. They put other people’s needs in the forefront. Psychological treatment may be lengthy and difficult. Self-defeating personality disorder, however, is not an official diagnosis and therefore the amount of research on this condition is scarce.