Most common questions used to investigate
Do you listen to your partner, not just hear them?
Do you know your emotional triggers?
Are you an empathetic person?
Is there an unmet need or emotion that you may have missed out?
Do you let go of small issues?
Do you know everything about your partner?
Common conclusions
There is a difference between hearing and listening. When you hear, you only process what you want, but when you listen, you understand the situation completely. Make sure you listen to your partner and don't just hear! This way, you will not miss out on many critical said and unsaid words and can pave the way for a wonderful relationship with your partner.
Many times, the problem is not with your partner, but you. As harsh as this may sound, knowing what triggers you emotionally is the key to stabilizing your relationship. When you understand your emotional trigger, you learn how to soothe yourself without having an outburst. Remember, all of us come into a relationship with some baggage and understanding that will help us to handle our baggage and the repercussions that come with it.
Empathy is the oil of all relationships and it is important to develop this trait if you don't already have one. Being empathetic means walking in the shoes of your partner to understand what he or she is going through and how it is impacting him or her. This helps you to see every action from your partner's perspective and lays down the foundation for a deep and long-lasting bond.
When your partner is down or is facing a critical problem, it can manifest in many ways. Though it may feel he or she is blaming or criticizing you, in reality, your partner is expressing an unmet need or emotion. Instead of retaliating to your criticism, stop for a moment, and see the underlying problem. This is definitely not easy and can't be discerned the first time. It is a continuous and iterative process and can take time to identify what is missing based on a pattern that emerges from many incidents. Though it is tough, persisting with it is important to build a lasting relationship.
In general, avoid talking about small issues that can crop up now and then as this could have nothing with you and could be more about a bad day at work or any frustration that's unrelated to you. If you notice a pattern, look for the underlying problem. Otherwise, just let go.
Great! At the same time, ensure that you truly know everything about your partner rather than just believing that you know. Learning is a constant process and understanding your partner as he or she changes with age and the surrounding environment.
Seek to understand before you expect to be understood. This is the holy grail of every relationship. Stop for a moment and think why your partner acted the way he or she acted and the reasons behind the same. This will help you to know your partner better and can improve your relationship.
References
Related Problems
